Take Action Editing Strategy

This decision based editing strategy will help you find new ways to edit the verbs in your sentences.

Hello, Sentence Makers!

Recently, I read Martha Kolln's book, Rhetorical Grammar: Grammatical Choices, Rhetorical Effects, 3rd edition. She writes that poets and good prose writers budget their words, which means they select each word carefully, knowing full well how each will impact a sentence (Kolln 117). I love her phrasing: word budget. She reminds me that we have so many word choices when we write, but she argues that we often rely on the same words, almost out of habit, especially when we use verbs.

Kolln's love for verbs is contagious. Here is what she says about them: "With so many slots for verbs...it's important for the writer to choose them carefully, to give them every opportunity to do effectively what they do best: provide the action, the movement, the life, the focal point of a sentence" (Kolln 118).

Wow! Verbs do so much for our sentences! They have their obvious role of taking the action of the subject in a sentence, like in this one:

• Our sentences bloom with possibility! (Sentences = subject; bloom= active verb)

But verbs also take on other roles in our sentences. For example, they can help us modify (further describe) some aspect of a sentence, like in this one:

• Our surging thoughts rise in a well crafted sentence. (thoughts = subject; rise= active verb).

The two verbs in this sentence are not acting like active verbs. Here the verb surging is not an active verb. Instead it modifies (describes) the word thoughts. Similarly, well crafted is not an active verb, but you can feel it moving as it modifies (describes) the word sentence.

For this decision based editing activity, we will examine the power of verbs! This activity will help you think through your verb choices so that you select the most effective ones for your ideas. In other words, we will play with our sentences by budgeting our verbs.

Here are the steps to follow to complete this workshop:

Step one: Choose one paragraph from an existing essay you are writing for one of your college classes.

Step two: Carefully read each sentence in your paragraph. Locate all the verbs you find. Remember that a verb may be acting as a modifier too! It may be helpful to use a pencil to circle or underline all the verbs you find in your paragraph. (If you don't underline every single verb, that is okay!)

Step three: Zoom in on 3-4 sentences that interest you most, sentences with verbs you would like to revise.

To help you choose what verbs to revise, use these guidelines from Martha Kolln's book:

1. Look for multi-word verbs, like turn down, bring about, put up with, take off, do away with, give up, get on with, etc (Kolln 118).
   

2. Look for to be verbs, like am, is, are, was, were, have been, is being, might be, etc (Kolln 120).
   

3. Look for common verbs, like have, make, go, do, say, get or take (Kolln 119).
   

4. Look for opportunities to use a verb as a modifier. Are there words in your sentences that could be further described by a modifying verb?

Step four: Highlight the verbs found in the 3-4 sentences you would like to revise.

Step five: Read the sentences that contains verbs you would like to revise. As you read, ask yourself these questions:

1. Can you replace a multi-word verb with a more specific, one-word verb? Let me give you an example:

• Original sentence: Linus was thinking of a new plan.
  

• Revised with a more specific one-word verb: Linus hatched a new plan.

Let me give you another example:

• Original sentence: After Marcel turned down his first job offer, he had gotten a better one.
  

• Revised with a more specific one-word verb: After Marcel rejected his first job offer, he landed a better one.

2. Can you replace a verb with a more descriptive verb? Let me give you an example:

• Original sentence: Running late to class, the student ran to room C320.
  

• Revised with a more descriptive verb: Running late to class, the student bolted to room C320.

Let me give you another example:

• Original sentence: During the storm, the branches from our old oak tree, fell to the ground.
  

• Revised with a more descriptive verb: During the storm, the branches of our old oak tree crashed to the ground.

3. Can you use a noun as a verb? Sometimes writers will turn a noun into a verb, as in this sentence from Burkhard Bilger's New Yorker article, "In Deep."

He'd spidered down waterfalls, inched along crumbling ledges, and bellied through tunnels so tight that his back touched the roof with every breath.

• Notice how Bilger used the nouns spider and belly as verbs in this sentence?

4. Can you further describe a word in your sentence with a verb that is used as a modifier? Let me give you an example:

• Original sentence: During the storm, the branches of our old oak tree crashed and careened to the ground.
  

• Revised with a more descriptive verb: During the storm, the quaking branches of our old oak tree crashed to the ground.

In this example, the verb quaking (to quake) is not the active verb. Instead, it is being used to modify (describe) the branches. Can you see how the word branches comes alive next to the word quaking?

Let me give you another example:

• Original sentence: Linus hatched a new plan.
  

• Revised with a more descriptive verb: Trembling with excitement, Linus hatched a new plan.

In this example, the verb trembling (to tremble) is not the active verb. Instead, it is part of a participial phrase being used to modify (describe) Linus's excitement over his new plan.

Step six: Be open to taking a risk and making other edits as you revise your verbs. Let the revisions you make to your verbs lead you to making other edits, such as rearranging the order of your sentence, or adding, or deleting words. As with any decision based editing strategy, the idea is that one small edit---like revising your verbs---will lead to catalyst thinking. That is, one small edit will hopefully lead you to make other edits as you go along.

Step seven: As you make your edits to your verb choices, narrate your thinking. Show your thought process as you make your edits so you become more aware of how you think and learn as an editor of your own writing.

NOTE: Before you begin, please see the video demonstration of this workshop found at the bottom of this page.

Step eight: After you have edited the verbs in your 3-4 sentences, and after you have made edits and adjustments to the remaining sentences, read your paragraph aloud. Then reflect on how editing your verbs led you to rethink your sentences by answering these four questions:

1. Why did you decide to edit the verbs you edited for this activity?

2. How did editing your verbs lead you to make other kinds of editing decisions?

3. What were some of the other kinds of editing decisions you made?

4. What surprised you most as you edited the verbs in your paragraph?

Work Cited

Kolln, Martha. Rhetorical Grammar: Grammatical Choices, Rhetorical Effects, 3rd edition. Allyn & Bacon, 1996.